This Week

Kia ora whanau!!

I wanna tell yous about some really awesome things that have happened. We started splits/rescue visits to our less active members on Wednesday night and one of them came to church on Sunday! In Sunday school, he told us a story. He moved to Australia, joined the church because of his son, but he fell less active as he moved back to NZ. He had been out of the church for about three years and he said that he wanted to get back into it. So, he called the church to see if he could get the number for the elders serving in his area and after about 15 minutes, he couldn't find anything. He was pretty upset about it. A couple hours later, Elder A and our Bishop came knocking on his door. They came, got him a ride to church, and Elder A and I are gonna start teaching him the lessons again. It was amazing. 

This week started out pretty rough, though. I was really struggling and was pretty hard on myself as. (Surprising, right?) Haha I didn't really know what was wrong and I just figured that I needed to fix or change something. On Thursday night, because of an inspirational zone training, I decided to pray until I felt peace, comfort, the spirit, really anything. I've heard about 100 stories of missionaries praying and crying until they were just overwhelmed with the spirit. So, I went to the main room of my flat and prayed for about 50 minutes. I felt almost nothing. 

Dejected, but still believing that eventually I would feel something, I went to bed. 

Friday came and went and nothing much changed. On Saturday night, we went to visit someone that told us his entire life story which was incredibly depressing. We had no idea what to say. The spirit wasn't there, we had no words, and then he blamed us for making us depressed. We said we're sorry and we went home. 

During training, I had the thought to stop and ask my companion how he could teach the plan of salvation in a way that would address all that we had just heard. As we followed the spirit and practiced, the spirit came flooding in. We knew how we could finally help this man. 

I rejected the spirit a little bit though. I was really glad to have been able to feel that but I wanted to spirit to come as a result of my prayer. During my prayer. 

So of course, as I prayed again for that on Saturday night, I felt nothing. 

During sacrament meeting, I repented. I told Heavenly Father I was sorry. 

Then, during Sunday School again, I received that witness that I was so earnestly seeking for. Our Ward Mission Leader asked everyone, whether convert or raised in the church, how/when we came to know the church was true. My mind was taken back to my first youth conference. 

Before going, I had started talking to my parents about wondering whether or not I actually had my own testimony. During the testimony meeting, I stood up with a pounding heart and shaky voice and told all the youth in the ward that I couldn't deny that the church was true. I didn't know where the words came from, but they fell out of my mouth. After the meeting was over, my dad pulled me aside and helped me see that I had a testimony of my own! I did know it. 

I then remembered some of the countless moments that my dad has been there for. Priesthood blessings, phone calls, youth conferences. Always there as I need him. Never letting me fall away and always, always bringing me closer to Heavenly Father and the Savior. I was able to see that my dad's constant love and care for me were and still are evidence that I have a Loving Heavenly Father.   

I heard the words, "Jared. This is the witness you were looking for." 

Such a distinct and powerful answer to prayer. 

I know God lives. 

I love you all!

Love,

Elder Benjamin